failure
by you-medea
Summary: "And it's not like you failed everyone." He paused and looked into her eyes. "You didn't fail me."


He threw another kunai. Being the precise ninja he was, the weapon hit its target.

Sasuke sighed to himself. Training was his way of life (for the lack of better terms): he trained when he wanted to relax, to vent out his frustration, to think, to simply do something when he had nothing to do. Somehow training didn't feel right this time around, though.

It had been 6 years since he went back to Konoha's side. The price he paid wasn't cheap, even if his (_former_, because he didn't think it was right to still call them his teammates after everything that has happened, even though they insisted the contrary) teammates tried their best to convince the council and the Hokage to lower the probation. After 5 years of trying to prove his loyalty to the village, he had been given missions again. He was happy and relieved, albeit just to himself, because it was irritating to be watched most of the time by people he didn't know (and did know).

His _teammates_ were helpful. Especially Sakura. During those 5 years, they got relatively closer.

It was unknown to many, but he experienced emotional breakdowns on the first few years of his return. It was not a pleasant experience, his longing for his family, his guilt for his brother. He was an avenger for a long time. It took time to find himself. He was lost.

But Sakura was there. She helped him go through it. Sakura was with him during the emotional roller coaster.

With nothing else to do, he decided to just continue. He was about to fling another kunai when Naruto showed up. Normally he would just glance at the blonde before continuing the task at hand, but something told him there was something wrong. If everything was okay, Naruto would have bugged him already to eating at Ichiraku's, or something as irritating.

"She's at the bar again. Getting drunk."

Naruto didn't need to tell him who "she" was.

At this, he raised an eyebrow. "Well? Bring her home." Because the morning-after-Sakura was not very pleasant. Both of them knew it wasn't a pretty site. Heck, even Kakashi and Tsunade knew.

"Don't you think I haven't tried that? I even bribed her with my month's supply of ramen."

"And you think you could bribe her with that?"

"Whatever. Just, bring her home." Naruto sighed. "Ino said she lost a patient today. And Sakura-chan's pretty depressed about it."

* * *

><p>When he arrived, he immediately saw her. It was hard not to find her, with that pink hair of hers. She was by herself, just a bottle of sake for company.<p>

He immediately made his way towards his – what? Friend? Girlfriend? He did not know. They did not go on dates, as she was busy with her shifts and he with his missions. But they took midnight strolls in the park, she brought him food whenever she felt like it, and he considered her the most important woman in his life right now, although he wouldn't say that aloud.

It took Sakura a while to acknowledge his presence. When he took his seat opposite her, she was pouring herself another glass of sake. The glass was half-way full when he took her arm and grabbed the bottle, settling it on the table. Surprise took over her at his sudden appearance.

"Sasuke-kun! So you came to join me? Wait, let me get another glass-" she wobbled as she tried to stand up.

"Sakura, sit down."

She stared at him, confusion written on her face, but sat down nonetheless. Both of them stayed quiet, neither saying anything.

"Naruto told you to get me, huh?"

"It doesn't matter."

Sakura made a grunting noise. "Yeah, right. He thought I would want his ramen. Well, listen here, buddy: I may be drunk, but I'm not-"

"You lost a patient today."

Alcohol and Sakura never made a good combination, for every emotion advanced to another level. "I don't think that's any of your business."

"If it makes you behave inappropriately and depressed, then yes, it is my business."

That took her by surprise. Sure, they had been "dating" (if you called midnight walks and training _dating_, but nothing official was made, so..), but this could be Sasuke's biggest attempt at caring. For her, nonetheless.

Her eyes started to sting, and she looked away, trying her best to hide the tears threatening to fall. Sasuke changed seats and sat next to her, extending his arms towards the woman beside him. Sakura did not hesitate, and fell into his arms, sobbing into his shirt.

He stroked his hair, an attempt to soothe the woman. It took a moment for her sobs to become quiet sniffs. "I could have saved her. I'm a medic, I'm supposed to save lives but I didn't."

"It's not your fault. You tried your best."

In all actuality, Sasuke was surprised that she was drinking because of _this_ matter. Sure, she got disheartened whenever she lost one of her patients, because yes, this is not the first time she did. But she only drank during her first few losses. He assumed she just got used to it, after all these years.

"But I guess my best still isn't good enough. All those years of training still aren't enough."

"Don't say that."

She pried herself out of his embrace. "But it's true! If I were good enough, maybe I could have saved her." The roseate looked away. "She's only 12, Sasuke. She was just a genin."

He remained silent, because this was the part where she just needed to vent, and any interference would lead to complications on his part.

"When I was a genin, it felt like I was finally starting my life. Because I was going to be a good ninja someday and that was the start of the whole training – the experience. When I was 12, everything crucial in my life happened. Team 7 happened. Naruto happened. Kakashi-sensei happened. _You_ happened. What if it was the same for her? I failed her. I'm a medic, I'm supposed to save lives, but I failed her."

Sasuke continued to stare at her, waiting for a signal that she was done with her breakdown. A few moments of silence passed by. That was his cue.

"You can't save everyone."

"Don't you think I know that? You've probably told me that millions of times before."

"Then why don't you just accept it? That you can't save everyone?"

Because there was a difference in knowing and accepting, he believed.

"Knowing you, you probably did your best. You always do. But maybe, not even your best could have saved her. Not even Tsunade's best could have saved her. Not anyone's best could. Maybe it's just – her time's up. There's nothing anyone could have done but just accept it."

Sakura covered her mouth, trying to bit back a sob. Because it hurt a lot. She might not have known the patient personally, but she felt like she failed the little girl's family and friends.

She hated herself. She hated herself for being a failure.

Noticing her urge to sob again, he motioned for her to come into his arms. She did, and sighed as she felt his arms around her again.

"I know you're worried of what her family and friends would think of you. But I know for certain that they would be thankful for trying your best. If not, screw them."

She giggled. For a moment she thought he was being different. Sure, she got used to him talking a lot since they got closer (with complete sentences, nouns, pronouns, adjectives and all).

He made distance between them, before pecking her forehead. "You can't save everyone. But I know for certain that everyone's thankful that you try your best." He paused and looked into her eyes. "And it's not like you failed everyone. You didn't fail me."

* * *

><p>Okay. So I actually wrote this because I'm pretty depressed myself. :( The pressure of schoolwork is getting to me, and I'm not exactly happy how things are happening, so yeah. I'm not exactly proud of this one, since there are parts that could have been better. Some parts feel like bleh to me. But it's 2:54 in the morning and I just don't care. So yeah. After writing this I feel kind of better. Off to sleep now! Tell me what you think by reviewing. Thank you!<p> 


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